Infertility and Meddy Teddy

Life is complicated.  

Life is beautiful.  

Life is expecting the unexpected.  

Life is living moment-to-moment.

I have always been a believer in the benefits of yoga.  The ability to find oneself alone with Mother Earth and focus on breathing, inner and exterior strength, and seeking physical and mental calmness while dealing with life’s chaos and mischief.  It’s not easy, and it’s not something you become a pro at overnight. But, it’s something that fascinates me.

Once my husband and I were “diagnosed” with infertility, I knew that it was a critical time for me to continue with self-awareness by focusing through yoga.  It was important for me to believe now, more than ever, in the power of my body, mind, and soul as I prepped myself for the uncertainness that was ahead for me…in vitro fertilization.

As our infertility journey played out, there were many a days in which I had bruised hips and pricked patches on my stomach.  I had green parts of my arm where blood was drawn over and over and over. I had mental downpours and moments of complete excitement and suddenly, absolute misery.  All the while, I still found time to take myself out of the world’s commotion and focus on myself and my body and my peace of mind.

As infertility continued to take its sweet time, I prepared my body for the ultimate win:  the opportunity to carry a baby. And when that moment finally came, I found yoga as a way to divert myself away from negative vibes and continue to focus on perfecting my body as the new, temporary home for this little embryo-that-could.

While I carried this baby for nine months, I saw many changes in my mental state, as well as my physical being, and I felt like a champion.  Pregnancy was not something I enjoyed, or found glamorous, but I made it out to be the very best experience possible because I knew that I was only going to be able to do this once.  I knew that in life, sometimes you are dealt the hand you have because it’s all on the table, and it’s up to you to hit or stay. I knew when I was finally able to get pregnant with my baby, that I was able to beat this “disease” medical institutions have coined, and I would find strength and peace, inside and out, to give a fighting chance to this little life inside.

So by now, you are probably asking, “where does Meddy Teddy” fall into all of this?  Well, when I was designing my baby’s nursery, I came across Meddy Teddy. Since my husband and I were starting a teddy bear collection for our little bundle of joy, I knew Meddy Teddy would be a part of that display of cuddly bears for our baby.  Because Meddy Teddy shows self-confidence and strength. Meddy Teddy shows happiness and self-acceptance. Meddy Teddy shows fitness and a healthy mind. All things in which I want my baby to see, believe, and accept into his life.

After I delivered my baby, we did mommy/baby yoga together, and Meddy Teddy was right beside us.  My son and I were able to take a few minutes to step away from the world and find a moment of harmony where we could be alone to learn more about ourselves and how we fit in with Mother Earth.  I was able to see how he completely trusts in my every action, and how I can get lost in his ability to smile and not have a care in the world. Our mommy/baby yoga times were a special part of his first year of life, as I was able to heal mentally and physically from childbirth, and he was able to learn to let the world in and see how such a small creature could have such a large presence.   Why, it even attributed to giving me the courage to write the children’s picture book series, “I’m Very Ferris” a child’s story about in vitro fertilization.

Meddy Teddy now sits in all different places in my son’s nursery.  Always with a smile, and ready to play, this bear is a reminder to find inner strength and close our eyes, and just “be” every once in a while.  It’s a great lesson and mantra to subscribe to.

I always tell my son, “I gave you life so you could live it.”  Thanks to yoga and Meddy Teddy, may he always live it with a little lighter step, a deep breath, and a smile on his face.